Reflections On A Fading Winter

I came across this beautiful term today and it made me realize something. 

This winter, I experienced neither the cold of the morning nor the warmth of the rising sun. Chores and responsibilities took over and before I knew it, winter slowly faded into the background. Today, the sun shone stronger and gave a brief glimpse of spring for sometime, bringing in the stark realization that winter is fading. 

Hyderabad gave me my first taste of winter. Having lived in Mumbai for about three decades, I was used to only humid weather and heavy rains. It was in Hyderabad that I started looking forward to winter, cozy sweaters, cold mornings and nights and spicy food and beverages. I distinctly remember yearning for the sun by the time January set in. 

But this year, I did not feel the winter. It came and passed away and I did not even meet it properly. No foggy mornings, no walking around my colony cozily tucked up in sweater, no photos of trees with dried leaves adding a surreal feel to the whole landscape and thereby, no warmth of the sun. 

I have always been an outdoors-freak. For me, any time spent outdoors, be it for any trivial task, is a happy time. I love to take in my surroundings whenever I am outside. I like to reflect upon the weather and I take solace and comfort in this ritual. 

I remember one particular moment that changed my outlook towards an unexpected change that my life encountered. Having spent three decades in the same hometown, surrounded by the same childhood friends, cousins and family members, shifting to Hyderabad was something that I found extremely difficult to adjust to. One particular night after shifting to a temporary home in Hyderabad, I was gazing out of the window beside my bed. I chanced to look up at the sky and saw Venus shining in all her glory. Now, Venus is special and familiar to me as I always make it a point to watch out for her during mornings and evenings as well. I have done this since my childhood. That night, in a strange city, in a new home, as I gazed out at my familiar friend Venus, I realized something - that wherever I may be, I will still be under the same expanse of sky. This realization grounded me and helped me to adjust to the change of homes. 

The wonderful outdoors, nature, parks, weather, rising sun, cold mornings with fog, cloudy and rainy days - these have been a constant support for me throughout my life. They have helped me to stay grounded amidst chaotic situations and have helped me feel safe and cared for. 

Dear winter, you have always brought comfort in my life. I am sorry that this year, I didn't meet you like I always do. Engrossed in the daily routine of a mundane life, I never realized when you came. I only noticed that you are preparing to leave. Next year, I will meet and greet you properly, my friend, and I will take in the comfort and solace that you have always brought to my life. On cold and foggy mornings, I will take a walk outdoors and wait for the rising sun to usher in some warmth and brightness. Next time, I will not let you pass by without basking in your company. Next time, I will be more present and will not let mundane chores consume my time and energy.

Until we meet again, winter!