The Auto-drivers Of Hyderabad

Picture credit: IndiaMART

My kid has football coaching three days a week. So I get ample opportunities to travel by auto while dropping the kid to the coaching centre and returning home.

I have had interesting experiences with autos in Hyderabad. I felt that the auto-drivers deserve a blog of their own. So here it is - my ode to The Intriguing Auto-Drivers Of Hyderabad. 

I have come across a variety of personalities when it comes to auto. I can safely categorise them as below:

I-won't-answer-the-call-no-matter-what:

This happened today. I and my kid were traveling in an auto and it was a drive of around an hour. The whole while, this auto-driver's cell kept ringing. And not a gentle, soothing ring-tone, but the extremely irritating and loud one. He kept cutting the call. The call kept returning. 18 kms of this. All the while, my only thought was - who in the world wanted to talk to him this badly!?!?

I-don't-need-to-give-any-explanation-to-anyone:

So that day I and the kid were returning home from his coaching centre. There came a familiar lane which had a narrow sub-lane. Our auto-driver took up that route. We had never traveled through that particular lane so I told the driver that he seemed to have taken a wrong turn. Guy heard me, I assure you. He looked over his shoulder at me and coolly kept on moving, no assurance, no explanation, nada, zilch. I and the kid exchanged several anxious glances until the driver finally came out of a lane that felt familiar. The relief didn't last long, for His Royalness had decided to take a 'shortcut' by driving the auto in the wrong direction in a street that was clearly one-way. He marched proudly against the traffic while I kept my head low, feeling ashamed to face the myriad yaatris braving the traffic but sticking to the right path. At the end of the drive, I was left wondering - what does the driver intend to do with the ten minutes that he saved by going in the wrong direction. Drive to Canada?!?!

My-auto-has-a-horn-and-I-will-blow-it:

Again, this happened enroute home from the coaching centre. The auto-driver had probably installed a new horn (loud, screechy, makes-you-want-to-scream kind). He kept blowing it every few seconds. Every. Few. Seconds! Twenty minutes of pure sensory torture that still haunts me days later. 

I-will-maintain-the-same-speed-no-matter-what:

Just before the coaching centre, there's a road that I and the kid have named as The Road To Hell. This road has craters that can put the moon to shame. High, low, big, small - you name it, you find it. It's an abomination in the name of a road. Anyways, this particular auto-driver entered this lane and maintained the same high speed that he had been driving with. I and the kid bumped against each other, sideways, front, back, here, there and everywhere. The driver showed no signs of slowing down. The last straw was when I bumped my head a bit too hard sideways and dashed it against a protruding screw (because the Road To Hell and The Driver From Hell weren't enough; the auto had to have a protruding SCREW.' Needless to say, a ride to remember for eternity!

I-know-you-but-I-won't-acknowledge-it:

Once it happened that the same driver who had dropped us to the coaching centre, accepted our Uber booking while returning home. Yours truly who gets easily excited by serendipitous events smiled at the driver. You have to give it to him. Stoic expression, straight spine and a very formal-sounding 'OTP cheppandi' (say the OTP). No recognition, no acknowledgement, nada, zilch. Just a driver doing his duty. 

I-have-temporary-amnesia:

Unfortunately I have encountered this kind much more than I would like. I would hand over the cash after the drive ended, the driver would choose that particular time to either make a call or to ask me a 'casual' question and then, as I would ask him for the return change, he would innocently ask, 'Paisa dia kya aapne?' The third time this happened, I screamed at the driver and got the change, all the while vowing to never pay fares in cash anymore. UPI payments to the rescue! 

Whatever the experiences have been, they have surely made life interesting! I have to add this that with the exception of very few, most drivers have been cordial, friendly and helpful. Whenever I book an auto, it is with an anticipation of which personality I will get to meet! 

Here's to the one-of-a-kind auto-drivers of Hyderabad, their good-and-not-so-good traits and to all the ways they have made travel interesting!