Dear Friend...

 


Dear friend,

I know that we have drifted apart.

We are in touch, but we are not connected anymore. We are in chat-groups, sending forwarded memes but there is no longer a moment of shared laughter between us.

I do not know where we went wrong. Ours was a friendship that started much before mobiles came into existence. We did not need an external source to stay connected. We grew up together, spent most of the day with each other and had no secrets between us. We enjoyed the phase of childhood, went through the trials and tribulations of teenage, experienced the nerves of exams and results and shopped for each other’s marriage together. We cribbed to each other about our jobs.

I cannot say the exact point of time when we parted ways. New responsibilities took over. Social life became non-existent. I find it strange that when more modes of communication came into our lives, we had already drifted apart.

Today I feel old, friend. Life has become one endless cycle of work and responsibilities. The kid who is barely a teenager has already started acting like one. Failed career haunts me. New parenting trends make me question whether I am raising a next-gen kid successfully. Health concerns pop up frequently. But what hurts me the most is that I haven’t laughed crazily since a very long time. I do not get any chance to meet new people, so social anxiety is thriving. Most of the day goes by in silence.

Today I would give anything to spend some time with you. I won’t talk but I will listen to whatever you wish to say. I would give everything to laugh with you one more time, to sing ridiculous songs and dance without a trace of sync or rhythm. Anything to be with a friend!

Tomorrow will probably remind me to be practical and stoic and to realize that everyone is busy with their lives and living in the past is no longer an option, especially when there is so much work to do. Tomorrow I will probably embrace my solitude again and make peace with it. Tomorrow I will be my mature and responsible self. But today, I want to sit with this vulnerability and reminisce about the happy times when there were friends beside me.

My phone lies beside me, beckoning me to call you over video. But I know that you will probably not attend the call. You didn’t, all the previous times I called you. The time was never right, I guess. I miss your companionship. I miss all the funny moments that we shared. Most of all, I miss the feeling of having someone who had my back.

Meet me, friend, and remind me that I am not alone! Make me feel young again. Share some silly and heartwarming moments with me.

Show me what it feels to have a friend beside. I have forgotten what it feels like, along with forgetting what it means to be a friend.  

Yours in faith always,

Someone who called you her best friend once upon a time.

 

Comments

  1. Kavita RJanuary 23, 2024 at 5:31 AM

    Wonderfully written Deepa.

    We all lose people as we grow I guess drifting is the right word and the worst part is even when we reconnect theres a awkwardness that makes it difficult to move ahead.

    ReplyDelete

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