A Validation-free Life!

Life has a funny way of teaching you some unforgettable lessons. 

As a blogger, getting readers and views for my blogs has been the biggest motivation for me till date. That someone took some time off to read my blogs, commented on them and gave motivating comments - this meant the world to me. 

Little did I realize that over a period of time, I would become dangerously addicted to the validation of readers. It happened! Every time I posted a blog in the social media, I would start checking it every two minutes to see whether any one has liked it or commented upon it. I anxiously and eagerly awaited validation from other people for my blog.

Since the past two weeks, I have been taught some humbling lessons by life - lessons that I needed to learn as a struggling writer. To start with, one of my blogs received some flak which I was not expecting. It was not anything too hurtful. But one look at the comment and my entire day was spent in silent hurt and grief. It bothered me that I was so affected by the comment. Only in the evening, when I wrote another blog about this, did I feel free. That was one humbling experience!

The second lesson was necessary and essential. I realized that my blogs no longer received any comments or views in spite of direct and indirect requests by me (made mostly through pictures of quotes and memes). My recent blog received one comment which was so half-hearted that it woke me up at 2.30 early morning. I struggled for a long while, thinking about where I am going wrong with my writing. Probably this wasn't my calling in life? I realized that I have not reached any where in my decade-long journey of writing. It took me a long while to fall asleep again.

The next day I decided to take a break from writing. I actually decided to not to write any more henceforth.  And I realized that I was finally feeling peaceful after days of questioning my self-worth and doubting my abilities. 

Today, I read a blog which brought some fresh insights. The blogger had written very casually and there was a touch of humility and gentleness in her blog. And suddenly, I wanted to be that writer - the one who wrote just for writing and not for any validation from anyone. Even as I was thinking about this, I came across this beautiful quote about validation in FB. It all made sense suddenly!

All my misery stemmed up from my need for validation from others. Writing which always brought in joy to me, had gradually turned to something that brought immense grief. The need for views and comments was the block that I was facing in my journey as a blogger. I had become so dependent on readers that I could no longer write like before. 

It was then that I came across this second quote. 

To get readers or views is something entirely out of my hands. So why to let this desire take root in my mind and give me grief? So here I am, writing but without any expectations; writing, because this narrative was brimming in my mind and was seeking an outlet; writing, because, now that I have made peace with validation and sent it off from my mind with a gentle goodbye, my mind is clear and writing is again the thing that brings me most joy. 

Initially, I had decided to just write and not to share this anywhere so that I would not spend anxious hours checking for comments or views. But that is a short-cut! The right thing to do is to share this and leave it. If this blog gains views, well and good, and if it doesn't, no harm done! No one is obligated to read my blog. No one owes me any comment or view. All that I can do, and should do, is to write. And that is what I did.

This narrative is special! Because I write it with no expectations. I write it at a time when my readership is at the lowest. I write it when all hope of making it big as a writer has left me. 

I write because I always will, no matter the outcome.