July Musings - On Blogging And Happiness!

Of late, I and my kid have taken to watching the series Young Sheldon, a delightful plot revolving around a child who is a prodigy in the making and is trying to stand out in a world where he will never fit in. In today’s episode, I came across an interesting concept where some people wonder whether they are happy and they ever will be.

It drove home some points and I started thinking about what makes me happy. Instantly the answer came to my mind – blogging. I have been at my happiest whenever I blogged. Not a novel, not a story, but a simple blog, a blog reflecting on some life-lesson that I learnt or which shares some anecdote from my daily life.

It has been a while since I wrote a blog on my site. There are many challenges, the most prominent being lack of readership and viewers. My blog at the most gets ten to twelve views and I am not even sure whether those were reads or just views. It sometimes amazes me that my WA status wherein I share the link to my blog shows me 40 to 50 views but my blog itself shows just 10 or 12! But I am not blaming anyone. I get that people are leading busy and hectic lives and reading my blog is probably the last thing on their list.

At one time, this really used to bother me – the lack of readers. I reached a point where I could no longer write anything because the prospect of having no readers loomed large on my mind even before the blog began. I almost gave up. Almost. But then it caused me immense unhappiness. I found myself missing something. It wasn’t views or readers for my blog, it was blogging itself that I missed.

I do not have it easy while blogging. There are time-constraints. When I get ideas, I do not have access to the laptop and when I get access to the laptop, it isn’t the right time because there is too much chaos around. Sometimes I indeed doubt the purpose of everything I write. I mean, why to go to such lengths when no one is going to read, right?

Also, when people ask me what I write, I hesitate sometimes. In a world where thousands of people are publishing books that make a difference to the society, saying that I am a blogger, writing for my own site, feels embarrassing. Many a times I feel that I am not making a difference to anyone’s life by blogging. But then a voice reminds me that it is not always the big issues that trouble people. Many a times, it is the little things that disrupt the mind – regrets, worries, anxieties… By blogging about my day or an incident that happened with me, perhaps someone reading it will be able to relate to it, or feel better, or not feel alone. Perhaps they will smile! This thought often soothes my mind and gives my blogging a purpose.

Most of all, I blog because I just cannot ‘not blog’. Blogging was my introduction to the world of writing and I will always be partial towards this. My stories have won me accolades. My novella has won me some wonderful reviews. But my blogs are the window to my soul and they have brought in a lot of peace and happiness. They provide a cathartic release to my mind, giving it an outlet to express my thoughts and feelings. For me blogging is like journaling, only difference being that I share it publicly.

It took me a long and difficult time to overcome the expectations of views and readerships for my blogs. I will admit that it wasn’t an easy process. But now I have reached that point where I blog, knowing well that it won’t get me many views and readers. There is a strange kind of liberation in blogging without expectations.

I find it interesting that I am working on a novella currently, yet writing this blog came easier than writing the plot for the novella. I also felt more excited when I got a topic to blog about. The novella is also a precious dream, don’t get me wrong. But the blog is the reality that I live every day. I am most comfortable when it comes to blogs, and I probably always will!

There was an interesting quote that I came across. You can’t just write and write and put things in the drawer. They wither without the warm sun of someone else’s appreciation. This is indeed true. If the world could understand the happiness and joy that a comment brings to the writer, there would be a lot more of readers and comments on blogs, I believe. But also true is the fact that once you are a writer, you cannot stop writing for want of readers and views. Once an idea comes to your mind, it will keep wreaking havoc until you decide to give it words. And that is what writing is all about!

I will end this with the quote based on which I wrote this blog. Indeed, there was a time when I badly wanted to stop writing. But I learnt what it felt to give up, and I know that I am never going through that feeling again. So, yes, I will keep going in this journey of blogging, because I am not giving up on myself ever again!