FB Uninstallation Diaries

Today, on a whim, I decided to take a major step. 

I uninstalled FB from my mobile. Now you may think there's nothing remarkable about this. May be. But it's a big deal for me.

You see, I am a homemaker. Most of my entertainment and social life exists only because of my virtual avatar in FB. I am an introvert in the non-virtual world and an extrovert in the virtual world. FB became the place where the extrovert-me found people to hang out with, have conversations, share mutual interests and become a part of a tribe. 

I lost myself in the virtual world. There was always something to post, something to be commented upon, some photos to be liked and loved and what not… And let us not get started on the story-sharing. Whatever I came across in the Social media and liked, I had to share that as a Story in my FB profile. Then I would check how many viewers the story has gathered. I would check how many comments my post has got. I never realized that everything had gradually become about ‘posting’. Whatever I did, it had to be posted.

Then came the reels. Whatever little attention I had left in me, they took that away. There were ‘satisfying’ carpet-cleaning videos, cute videos of animals, complete with emotional songs in the background, re-imaginations of popular shows and series that made me want to cry and what not.

I had been thinking of uninstalling the app from my mobile. I did not want any carpet-cleaning video to win over my already weakened mind. That was a low blow. Few days ago, one of the authors who had sent her book to me as a part of a book giveaway program, informed me that she does not have FB in her mobile. She made me yearn for a strange kind of freedom and peace. I gave impetus to the thought that had been reining in my mind since few days and finally uninstalled FB from my mobile.

The first thing I realized was that, what I thought was an addiction, was barely a way of dealing with daily boredom. There are no withdrawal symptoms, at least not yet. There is no urge to keep checking for notifications, or how many people have viewed or commented on my last post. There is no urgent need to post any story. Nothing. Just peace.

The thought does arrive - how will I pass my time? I will probably do the usual chores (without checking the FB app several times in an hour to see who has updated what). May be I will watch some movie. There is the interesting prospect of watching old episodes of Tarak Mehta Ka Ulta Chashma with my son. 

Yes, there probably will be a lot of TV watching. But since it is the first day of my FB-free existence, I am giving myself some leeway. I will admit, I will have to log in from my laptop once to share this blog in FB. But that’s okay I guess, being first day of FB rehab and all…

There are some realizations.

I do not miss FB as much as I had feared.

The reels on FB were my major source of distraction.

Not much happens over Whatsapp. I mean, that app was introduced as an instant messaging app, but nobody sent any message today that started a conversation. Forwarded messages, memes and jokes were shared generously in groups but nothing about them felt like having a real conversation.

The biggest challenge for me is to resist sharing this as a post in my FB profile. I am already typing this on my laptop. How easy it would be to simply copy-paste this stuff in FB now! But no, it would destroy the purpose of uninstalling the FB app. Because posting this would create the temptation to check for comments and reactions. And I think it is time I learnt to live without likes, views, comments and reactions. It is time to live in the real world.

That’s my FB Uninstallation Diary entry for today. Tomorrow poses another challenge and another temptation. But I am hopeful, and hope is all that is required sometimes.